Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
