Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
