Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
