the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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