Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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