I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
