Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I can't put those talents on a resume
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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