a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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