I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
