Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
