He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
