I don't think brook has ever known best
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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