reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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