you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
