i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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