thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
