she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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