so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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