Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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