The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
