My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
