We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You need Xanax blowdarts
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
