Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Someone signed my nipple.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
