tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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