but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
