She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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