just tell him i said nine months
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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