when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
