Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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