So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
