I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
this boner is exhausting
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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