We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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