Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
