The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
