He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
