I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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