when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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