you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
