Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
