i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
