So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
