32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
