You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
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