it was like eating out sand paper
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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