i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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