People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
