yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
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toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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