I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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