he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
