is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
