You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
