My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
