You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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