help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
