Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
