Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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