The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
