My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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