it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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