You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
