You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
