aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
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Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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