and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
How many fucks given?
0.12846
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
