My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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