i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Randomize
