Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I intend to get homeless drunk
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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