i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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