Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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