Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
