so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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