We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
